The Male Identity Crisis

Man staring intently.
Image: Pexels

Most of us have probably heard that a woman's identity is tied to a couple of things: her beauty, skin tone, demeanor, chastity or purity, and ultimately, her ability to use these qualities to square herself a husband and bear 'his' children. This can be further expanded into the duties she is supposed to play in these roles of wife and mother, roles defined as the epitome of her womanhood. And we all know that those duties are many, unreasonable, and oftentimes, downright wicked. But these roles are so firmly woven into the fabric of society that choosing a different path almost always results in backlash, shaming, and in some cases, physical and sexual abuse. Very few people expect a woman’s identity to be tied to her intellect, career, goals and aspirations, or achievements. It is why women are constantly asked about their husbands or children, regardless of what other achievements they have outside of that.

Policing Childbirth and Risking Women’s Lives

Woman breastfeeding her newborn
Image: Feature Shoot

By Ramatu Ada Ochekliye

My first experience with childbirth was when my youngest sister – Sadiya – was born. I was seven years old then. I remember my mum trying to put on a brave face as she was aided to the car. In all honesty, I didn't understand what was going on, but my aunts and uncles seemed to be in a panic. I can't remember what my father's demeanor was, but I know we didn't see our mother until the next day when we were introduced to our newborn sister. There was happiness, excitement and an air of love all around. If my mother was frazzled after the birth, she didn’t show it or…I didn't notice.