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| Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash |
“You are too young to be depressed.”
It is a sentence many young people hear when they finally gather the courage to talk about what they have been carrying. Sometimes it comes from parents who believe they are encouraging resilience. Sometimes it comes from friends who have never experienced depression or anxiety. Sometimes it comes from people who genuinely care but have been taught that mental illness has a particular face—and that face certainly does not belong to someone who still laughs, attends classes, posts on social media, or goes to church every Sunday.
So, many young people learn to become convincing actors.
They smile through lectures, joke with colleagues, celebrate birthdays, and reply, “I am fine,” almost automatically. Behind those everyday routines, however, some are struggling to get out of bed, losing interest in activities they once loved, battling constant worry, or questioning whether life will ever feel lighter again.
Their suffering is rarely visible.
That is the hidden burden of depression and anxiety.
The World Health Organization estimates that one in seven adolescents aged 10 to 19 lives with a mental health condition, with depression and anxiety among the leading causes of illness and disability in this age group. Yet many of these conditions go unrecognised and untreated, often because stigma prevents young people from asking for help.
In Nigeria, these realities unfold against a backdrop of economic uncertainty, rising living costs, unemployment, insecurity, academic pressure, and social expectations. While these experiences do not automatically cause depression or anxiety, living under prolonged stress without adequate support can have profound effects on mental well-being.
Consider the university student who quietly skips meals to save money while trying to maintain good grades.
The recent graduate who refreshes their email dozens of times each day after months of unanswered job applications.
The young entrepreneur whose profits disappear as inflation pushes up the cost of doing business.
The young professional who spends hours comparing their life to carefully curated images online, wondering why everyone else seems to be moving forward while they feel trapped.
These are not isolated stories.
They reflect the realities many young Nigerians navigate every day.
Yet, when emotional exhaustion begins to show, society often offers judgment before understanding.
“Pray harder.”
“Stop overthinking.”
“You are just being lazy.”
“Other people have bigger problems.”
These statements are usually not intended to be cruel. Many come from people who sincerely want to help but have a limited understanding of mental health. Unfortunately, they reinforce a dangerous belief—that emotional pain should be endured quietly rather than acknowledged and treated.
This is how silence becomes normal.
Many young people begin to hide their struggles because they fear being labelled weak, ungrateful, or even ‘mad.’ They continue attending classes, showing up for work, and participating in family gatherings, while privately battling sleepless nights, overwhelming anxiety, persistent sadness, or feelings of hopelessness.
The ability to function should never be mistaken for the absence of suffering.
One of the greatest misconceptions about depression is that it always looks dramatic. In reality, it often hides behind routine. A student may continue attending lectures while losing the motivation to learn. A young employee may keep meeting deadlines while fighting constant panic. Someone can appear productive and still be emotionally overwhelmed.
Perhaps the more uncomfortable question is not whether young people are struggling.
It is why we have become so accustomed to overlooking those struggles.
Some parents will sacrifice everything to pay school fees but dismiss counselling as unnecessary. Schools proudly celebrate academic excellence while investing little in students' emotional well-being. Many workplaces expect resilience without recognising burnout. Even within families and faith communities, conversations about mental health are sometimes replaced with shame, misunderstanding, or silence.
In trying to appear strong, many young people end up carrying burdens that were never meant to be carried alone.
The consequences extend far beyond the individual.
Poor mental health affects concentration, relationships, productivity, and physical health. It can interrupt education, reduce workplace performance, increase substance misuse, and, in severe cases, contribute to self-harm or suicide. Ultimately, communities also bear the cost when young people are unable to thrive because their emotional well-being has been neglected.
This is why Sustainable Development Goal 3, particularly Target 3.4, calls for the promotion of mental health and well-being. Good health is not measured only by the absence of physical illness. It also depends on whether people can access support without fear, whether help is affordable, and whether society recognises mental health as an essential part of overall well-being.
Achieving this goal demands more than annual awareness campaigns.
Schools need counselling services that students trust. Mental healthcare should be integrated into primary healthcare and made more affordable. Parents, teachers, employers, and faith leaders all have a role in recognising emotional distress instead of dismissing it. The media must also continue telling stories that replace stereotypes with understanding and remind people that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but of courage.
Most importantly, we need to change the questions we ask.
Instead of saying, “Why are you depressed?”
Perhaps we should ask,
“What have you been carrying that no one has noticed?”
Sometimes, healing begins not with having all the answers, but with knowing someone is willing to listen.
At Shades of Us, we believe that storytelling can illuminate realities that statistics alone cannot. By creating space for honest conversations about depression, anxiety, and emotional well-being, we challenge the silence that keeps so many young people suffering unnoticed. Achieving SDG 3: Good Health and Well-being requires more than stronger health systems—it requires communities where compassion replaces stigma, understanding replaces judgment, and no young person feels that silence is their only option.
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