Tuesday, 16 May 2017

#JusticeForChisomAnekwe: WHY YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CAMPAIGN


I was scrolling through my Facebook timeline and happened on this story by Milly Milly.

MEN-HATING FEMINISTS

 

As more women are finding (and using) their voices, the dark forces of patriarchy seem to be retreating; albeit slower than a snail’s pace. Oh, there is still a long way to go before we can confidently say that women share the same pedestal with men but for the most past, we are not where we were one hundred years ago. Women in some climes can work, vote, run for office, choose their life’s paths, and receive inheritance. Though the strides are small, women are becoming visible; and not just as walking vaginas for the pleasure of men. What do we have to thank for it? A lot of it is hinged on ‘Feminism’.

Wednesday, 10 May 2017

CHOOSING YOUR FEMALE ROLE MODELS


Growing up, I only had Oprah Winfrey to look up to. Yes, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon who found the cure to cancer but whenever I saw Oprah on TV, I totally connected to her. I was barely seven when I knew I wanted to be like her.

Tuesday, 9 May 2017

ETIQUETTE FOR SEMI-FORMAL MEETINGS


Hey! Hey!

Ramat is in the building!

So by now, you must have heard I did a post about what turned out to be a horrible meeting BECAUSE I didn’t get food. I don’t play with my food at all!

Sunday, 7 May 2017

'1 GIRL, 1 PAD' CAMPAIGN


Shades of Us is a forum for open discussions on issues affecting Africa, Africans and people of African descent, with a view of changing the ‘dark continent’ narrative of Africa. Since our inception in 2014, most of our work have been online campaigns for or against social issues and dysfunction. At the start of the year, we pledged to start doing more people-to-people work to affect our society; one community at a time.

It is in lieu of this that we are partnering with Save our Women (SOW) Foundation for the ‘1 Girl, 1 Pad’ campaign.

Thursday, 4 May 2017

WOMEN ARE OUR BIGGEST PROBLEM


It saddens me that I have to take this stand today but it has become necessary.

Let me make this assertion; Women are the greatest hindrance to women’s advancement. Not men, not patriarchy, not society. Oh! You need me to speak a little louder? Sure! I have all the time in the world.

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

WE ALL LOVE GOD. YET...


We all love God
As is evident
In our packed churches
On Sundays
And all our masjid
From Fajr to Isha
Five times every day.

FIND YOUR MOTIVATION


Today I woke up with absolutely no desire to do anything. I was burned out physically and emotionally and I was beginning to feel like my life could be likened to a hamster and her Ferris wheel.

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

THE TRULY INTELLIGENT ONE


People read their posts
And say to themselves
'Oh! What intelligence!
What intellectuals!'

Sunday, 16 April 2017

THEY SOLD US A WHITE SAVIOR


They sold us a white savior
With blond hair and blue eyes
Porcelain skin so clear
And beard so perfectly groomed
He was everything we were not
And represented everything we couldn’t be
So we latched on to his saving power
And hoped that one day
We just may qualify
To be and look like him

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

SHE FELL IN LOVE…WITH HER BEST FRIEND


It all started like a bad joke in a boring movie. Kayla had gone to see her boyfriend when she bumped into him. He was tall and big; exactly how she liked her men. She smiled and said hello. He did the same. As she walked past him, she mentally noted that his voice was soft, smooth…almost like he was shy.

Monday, 10 April 2017

WHY DO MEN SO EASILY HARASS WOMEN?


Most women have been sexually harassed one way or the other. This could be in the market, at work, in schools or just walking down the street. Some women have come to expect it as part of their lives. Before I go on my rant – and this is going to be a rant – defining what it means to be sexually harassed is the first call of duty.

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

DON’T ASK ME WHEN I AM GETTING MARRIED. OR ELSE…


The pressure has begun; in earnest.

‘Ramat, when is your wedding? When will you settle down? When are we coming to eat your own cake?’

Thursday, 30 March 2017

TO AFRICANS IN COUNTRIES THAT DON’T WANT THEM


It started in South Africa. Well…it didn’t really. It was however the first time I had seen something so disturbing. So for me, it started in South Africa.

Monday, 20 March 2017

THE OVERWHELMED MOTHER IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD


There is this woman in the neighborhood I currently reside in. She has a shop where she sells provisions, food items and…wait for it…even fuel! Her shop is right at the corner and every time I have passed her shop on my way back from anywhere, there always seems to be a myriad of people she is attending to. Let me put this out there. I like her hustle.

Sunday, 12 March 2017

SPEAKING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE PROPERLY


English is my first language. Though my father is Idoma, my mother Igbira and my birthplace a chiefly Hausa region, English was and is my first language.

Friday, 10 March 2017

GUERRILLA FEMINISM

by
ABE ONCHE



It’s not easy being a feminist.

I can hear the collective hiss and mumble about this one who doesn’t know what the hell he is talking about. From the men who only needed this admission to confirm I’ve been neutered, or from the women who disqualify my experiences because I have a penis. Yes, yes…I’ve heard it all before…either I’m stupid or grossly ignorant, and by no means are those mutually exclusive.

Tuesday, 28 February 2017

PLAYING THAT PRACTICAL JOKE


We all have our food pet peeves and the thought or sight of people eating them gets us in our cringe modes.

I am no different.

8 CELEBRITIES WHO BECAME FAMOUS AFTER 30


Where our parents believed in becoming successful over a long period of time with lots of hard work and dedication, many millennials are super driven to be successful as quickly as they can. It is not uncommon to then see many ‘generation possible’ young men and women set an age cap for themselves.

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

THE TRUEST MANIFESTATION OF LOVE 2

Ever story has at least two sides. Every action has at least two reactions. The first was here. This is the second.



The moment Otobrise walked into the house, Tracy Wayemi knew something was wrong. He was mechanical and her husband was never that.

They had been married for two years and had dated for a year before tying the knot and starting their forever. Because he was such an open book with her, Tracy knew what almost every expression, nuance or tic meant. At this moment however, she couldn’t place what brought on his mask.

Monday, 13 February 2017

NOT CHANGING MY NAME WHEN I MARRY


My friends and I have been talking about the name change thing we are required to do when we get married. While some of them cannot wait to be a ‘Mrs. Somebody’, a couple of us are worried about that. Discussing it doesn’t bring any form of reprieve because it is not an easy topic to explain. Even if it was, we know we are not only going to have to deal with our men, but our combined families.

Friday, 10 February 2017

H

By
Abe Onche



Innocence sits on the threshold
He sits, at home in the vacant vastness
Decadent, twisted into silence
By the ravages of a destitute lifetime

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

MARIA UFUA SHAMING THE FAT SHAMERS



Our #WomanCrush today is Maria Ufua.

Ufua Maria is a 28 year old lady from Okhuesan, Esan southeast local government, Edo state. She is a fashion designer and owner of Pure Hand Crafts by Marie, an entrepreneur and a youth and body image advocate.

Take One: THE WEDDING PARTY


So we finally saw The Wedding Party by Kemi Adetiba. We have been huge fans of hers for years and when we heard she was doing her first feature film, we couldn’t wait to see what she would churn out. The rave reviews came in right from its debut showing in Nigerian cinemas. Cinemas were packed ‘back to back to back’ and one couldn’t help but praise the publicity, the celebrity cast and the production team for ensuring that almost everyone had a reason to see the film.

Sunday, 5 February 2017

MAKING ITORO A WOMAN


Ekong Itoro clenched her hands in the anticipation of the pain that would jolt through her in a few minutes. She breathed in quickly…and then slowly, making sure to count to five before letting each breath out. Her back was already drenched in sweat from lying on the pile of clothes in the very hot and fetid room. She could taste the blood at the back of her throat from pressing down on her teeth to keep them from clattering. She could also feel the warmth dripping from between her thighs; thighs she held together tightly as a final act of defiance before she was forced to spread them wide open.

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

CERTIFIED HOMOSEXUAL


I met a lady on my way home and complimented her hair. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I was engulfed in a memory I shelved a while back.