Tuesday 23 August 2016


Couple on a date.
Image: Connect Nigeria. 
I used to have this friend and roomie who absolutely loved grilled fish. She loved grilled fish so much that she practically had one every day. I always say that she made me love grilled fish because until I met her, the delicacy was a luxury. But when we became friends, it became a perfect finish to whatever kind of day I was having.

Thing is, she never bought the fish herself. Every time she hung out with friends, she always returned home with fish. And when she couldn’t go out, someone would always ensure that one was brought to her. 

At that time, I had morphed into my new personality and it was not unusual to find me at home reading a book or sleeping. This meant that fish always came to me in our little room and though I would never have been so bold to ask anyone to buy me fish, I always ate it when it came. And for your information, it is NOT longer throat!

One day however, my friend had a fight with this steady admirer. The fight was so big that they were not on speaking terms. After finding out what went wrong, I tried to encourage her to work things out with him…and hey! It wasn’t because of the fish! But back to my story.My friend wouldn’t budge. She just kept groaning about how we wouldn’t eat fish that night. I was shocked by what she saw as a priority. 

After a few hours, the guy called and…she didn’t pick. He called and again, she still didn’t pick. What happened next surprised me to no end. The guy sent an SMS, categorically saying that he wanted to take her out for fish. My girl piped up so quickly I had my mouth agape! She didn’t even pretend to wait for some time. She quickly called the guy, acted coy and asked when he was coming to pick her. 

I was more disappointed than surprised by what I had seen if I am being honest. Did this girl just sell herself short for grilled fish?!

It got me thinking and I have to admit there are many girls like that. These girls would do just about anything for fish! And when I say anything, I mean anything!

I have seen a lady who hugs a guy really tight when she has a grilled fish craving. She is this big-breasted girl who knows that the guy in particular loves them big. When he sits down, she would lean over him with all that breast rubbing his head and shoulder, and when he turns, his face is almost buried in those breasts. She smiles and that is when she usually asks for her fish. I asked her why she did stuff like that. She told me that I was such a prude, men were supposed to cater to her needs and she shouldn’t have to spend money on what she wants.

It still piques me that women continue to trade sexual favors for stuff like grilled fish! This isn’t about being judgmental or anything like that. It is just that when I want fish, I take out money and head to the spot. And because I know I love fish so much, I make sure I space out the days I eat it so I am not bankrupt because of my cravings. Once in a while, I am invited to 'fish-out' but I only accept when the invitation comes from really close friends; and they are not many. I cannot imagine how I would feel if a man says, ‘No be Ramat. She is that grilled-fish girl. If you want to get her, buy her a grilled fish.’ I would literally be ashamed of myself if that ever happens to me. 

But in the last couple of years, I have grown to realize that just because something works for me doesn’t mean that it should be the standard for everyone. In my ideal world, women are able to pay for the things they want, when they want it. But in reality, many women want to be wined and dined by their suitors and admirers and they are not averse to trading sexual favors to get what they want. Now, as long as both parties agree that that is the way they want their relationship to be, it really isn’t any of my business. In the famous words of Cardi B, “what you eat don’t make me shit”. And that is the way it should be. 

But…what do you think about trading sexual favors for simple things? And I am not talking just girls because if living in Lagos and Abuja has shown me anything, this is also very common with guys. So…what do you think? 

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