Changing My Name

Image: The Hunt

My friends and I have been discussing the name change we are expected to do when we get married. While some of them cannot wait to be a ‘Mrs. Somebody’, a couple of us are worried about that. Discussing it doesn’t bring any form of reprieve because it is not an easy topic to explain. Even if it was, we know we are not only going to have to deal with our men, but our combined families.

H

By

Abe Onche

Innocence sits on the threshold

He sits, at home in the vacant vastness

Decadent, twisted into silence

By the ravages of a destitute lifetime

Maria Ufua: Shaming the Body Shamers

Maria Ufua
CEO, Pure Hand Crafts by Marie

Maria Ufua is an amazing woman.

Take One: The Wedding Party

So we finally saw The Wedding Party by Kemi Adetiba. We have been huge fans of hers for years and when we heard she was doing her first feature film, we couldn’t wait to see what she would churn out. The rave reviews came in right from its debut showing in Nigerian cinemas. Cinemas were packed ‘back to back to back’ and one couldn’t help but praise the publicity, the celebrity cast and the production team for ensuring that almost everyone had a reason to see the film.

Making Itoro A Woman

Female Genital Mutilation or in simpler terms, violence against women and girls. 

Ekong Itoro clenched her hands in the anticipation of the pain that would jolt through her in a few minutes. She breathed in quickly…and then slowly, making sure to count to five before letting each breath out. Her back was already drenched in sweat from lying on the pile of clothes in the very hot and fetid room. She could taste the blood at the back of her throat from pressing down on her teeth to keep them from clattering. She could also feel the warmth dripping from between her thighs; thighs she held together tightly as a final act of defiance before she was forced to spread them wide open.

Slapping Labels on People

Pointing at a black man
Image Credit: The Sacramento Observer

I met a lady on my way home and complimented her hair. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I was engulfed in a memory I shelved a while back.

Women Should Carry Their Condoms

Woman with Condom
Picture Credit: Zenito Haven

So I watched this show a while back on Ebony Life Television (ELTV). There was a voices-on-the-streets segment, and the question asked was if it is okay for women to carry condoms. Many people gave varying responses, but one stuck with me for days. The respondent, a very confident (albeit uneducated) man, couldn’t hide his disdain at the question. He was entirely against the concept. His closing statement was what got me riled up. He went, ‘Man wey get two woman na still man but woman wey get two man na olosho.’

Top 5 Black Sitcoms Of The 90s

The 90s was probably the best time for television, not because they had the best content or the most brilliant technology but because it was television lots of people across the world were tuned to.

January Song

January Song ( For Ramat on her birthday)

🌻🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌻

Glass, Brillo, Flame & Rock

Image: Pexels

By Kabir Babiotos

The shortcut to eternal doom they say; the worst of all evil. The fast killer, the baddest bitch; crack! A dance with the devil himself, in a ballroom made of thin glass floors, best to watch your step for you might fall or better yet dare not even get in to begin with.

Chrysalis

Image: Discover Magazine

By Abe Onche

Longest Serving African Leaders

Africa is plagued with people who are so intoxicated with power that once they are in a place of leadership, authority or governance, they are unwilling to step down until pushed out. We seem to be the most likely group of people to turn a democracy into a dictatorship and it usually doesn’t matter if it is in the home, office or government. 

Today, we discuss the longest serving leaders in Africa and why they need to go!

Listen to the podcast below! 

The Rising Cost Of Sanitary Pads

Sanitary Pad

Image: Live Strong

When you are a team of mainly women, you have to deal with many issues that generally affect you. One of such issues is our menstrual cycle. This affects us at least once every month. Yes, we used the word ‘affects’ because it does and because our cycle is a 28-day cycle, there is always the chance that we ‘see’ our periods twice in one more month.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr: Not Just A Dreamer

Our man crush is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Dr. Martin Luther King was born Michael King Jr. on January 15, 1929. He was an American Baptist minister and human rights activist. He was also a leader in the Civil Rights Movement. He is best known for his role in the advancement of civil rights using nonviolent civil disobedience based on his Christian beliefs.

The Woman That Was Flora Nwapa

Image Credit: Buzz Nigeria

We loved when Google Doodle showed a black woman in what looked like a field of corn seemingly planting (or harvesting) books on October 16, 2017. We were piqued. Who was this woman?

5 Things You Probably Didn't Know Were Invented By Black People

Credit: All Events

Black people are awesome and many times, we don’t get the credit we deserve. All through history, we have always created or contributed to the creation of ingenious inventions for the advancement of human kind.

Uduak-Obong Jackson: Writing Against Suicide

Uduak-obong Jackson
Image: Uduak's Facebook Profile

We are amazed by the awesomeness that is Uduak-obong Jackson.

Turning 28...And Not Repeating My mistakes

Our founder wrote this to commemorate her birthday and from all of us at SHADES OF US, we want to wish her a wonderful birthday today. Happy Birthday Ramat!

Shades Of Us: Unveiling Our New Look

Hey.

So we have been making some noise about changes we want to make and the time is finally here.

Minding Your Business

Image: Trust Tru Katsande for Unsplash

One of our previous posts, Accept Your Husband Like That, received some praise, a healthy discussion and some backlash. We were very happy! If we have people talking about the issue, we must have done a good job. But before we tell you more about our glee, let us discuss some of the issues raised.

Chude on The Government, Global Comparisons And The Future Projects

We sat with Chude Jideonwo, Co-Founder and Managing Partner of RED MEDIA AFRICA, and we talked about many aspects of the Nigerian life; from youth participation in government and governance, social media, activism and advocacy, to his work with his various institutions and the likes.

Zion Oshiobugie: From House Boy to Entrepreneur

Zion Oshiobugie
CEO, Clever Minds Integrated Services
Credit: Nairaland

Let us talk about Zion Oshiobugie, shall we?

Accept Your Husband Like That

Thought Catalog for Unsplash

I have hashed a lot about the place society has relegated women to and while this is one of them, it is slightly different.

Confusion About Religion

Note: This post is not to malign any religion but to share my confusion about the role of religion in humanity's advancement.

So many thoughts have been racing through my head about the many aspects of religion. These thoughts have grown to become huge questions needing answers. So let me walk you through them.

Keep the HIV Fight On

Photo by Klaus Nielsen from Pexels

As global attention is being pulled out of HIV program funding, we need to keep the HIV fight on.